Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
When
I was young I loved playing sports, and I have many fond memories of
those days. But not all of them are pleasant. I remember one day after
my football team lost a tough game, I came home feeling discouraged. My
mother was there. She listened to my sad story. She taught her children
to trust in themselves and each other, not blame others for their
misfortunes, and give their best effort in everything they attempted.
When we fell down, she expected us to pick ourselves up and get
going again. So the advice my mother gave to me then wasn’t altogether
unexpected. It has stayed with me all my life.
“Joseph,” she said, “come what may, and love it.”
I have often reflected on that counsel.
I think she may have meant that every life has peaks and shadows
and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring.
Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest
seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger,
wiser, and happier as a result.
There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely
experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While
every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant
measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of
disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in His wisdom does not
shield anyone from grief or sadness.
For me, the Lord has opened the windows of heaven and showered
blessings upon my family beyond my ability to express. Yet like
everyone else, I have had times in my life when it seemed that the
heaviness of my heart might be greater than I could bear. During those
times I think back to those tender days of my youth when great sorrows
came at the losing end of a football game.
How little I knew then of what awaited me in later years. But
whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my
mother’s words often came back to me: “Come what may, and love it.”
How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can’t—at least
not in the moment. I don’t think my mother was suggesting that we
suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don’t think she
was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of
pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to
adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be
in life.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times
of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest
happiness.
Over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me
through times of testing and trial. I would like to share them with you.
Learn to Laugh
The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. Have you ever seen an
angry driver who, when someone else makes a mistake, reacts as though
that person has insulted his honor, his family, his dog, and his
ancestors all the way back to Adam? Or have you had an encounter with
an overhanging cupboard door left open at the wrong place and the wrong
time which has been cursed, condemned, and avenged by a sore-headed
victim?
There is an antidote for times such as these: learn to laugh.
I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving
to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would
invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time
we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.
Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while
heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t
realize it until two hours later when we saw the “Welcome to Nevada”
signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and
resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for
us.
I remember when one of our daughters went on a blind date. She was
all dressed up and waiting for her date to arrive when the doorbell
rang. In walked a man who seemed a little old, but she tried to be
polite. She introduced him to me and my wife and the other children;
then she put on her coat and went out the door. We watched as she got
into the car, but the car didn’t move. Eventually our daughter got out
of the car and, red faced, ran back into the house. The man that she
thought was her blind date had actually come to pick up another of our
daughters who had agreed to be a babysitter for him and his wife.
We all had a good laugh over that. In fact, we couldn’t stop
laughing. Later, when our daughter’s real blind date showed up, I
couldn’t come out to meet him because I was still in the kitchen
laughing. Now I realize that our daughter could have felt humiliated
and embarrassed. But she laughed with us, and as a result, we still
laugh about it today.
The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh
instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those
around you more enjoyable.
Seek for the Eternal
The second thing we can do is seek for the eternal. You may feel
singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and
wonder, “Why me?”
But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of
us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is
exempt.
I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble
men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and
Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried,
fortified, and refined their characters.
Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow
is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often
difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences
that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our
compassion for others.
Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our
suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that
we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.
Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph
Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness
of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and
thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”
1
With that eternal perspective, Joseph took comfort from these
words, and so can we. Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome
us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.
The Principle of Compensation
The third thing we can do is understand the principle of
compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That
which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto
them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the
faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a
hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.
One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the
curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will
continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new
opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings
promised by a loving Heavenly Father.
Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation
prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has
autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to
grips with the implications of this affliction.
They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children.
They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the
family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children
often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with
him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he
has filled our lives with joy.
His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he
first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t
think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a
much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his
direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out
of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.
Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph,
any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of
this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about
children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the
generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have
rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his
goodness.
Trust in the Father and the Son
The fourth thing we can do is put our trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.
“God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son.”
2
The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us
to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will
step in.
He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will
comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and
fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.
3
One of our daughters, after giving birth to a baby, became
seriously ill. We prayed for her, administered to her, and supported
her as best we could. We hoped she would receive a blessing of healing,
but days turned into months, and months turned into years. At one point
I told her that this affliction might be something she would have to
struggle with the rest of her life.
One morning I remember pulling out a small card and threading it
through my typewriter. Among the words that I typed for her were these:
“The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best,
then leave the rest to Him.”
She did put her trust in God. But her affliction did not disappear.
For years she suffered, but in due course, the Lord blessed her, and
eventually she returned to health.
Knowing this daughter, I believe that even if she had never found
relief, yet she would have trusted in her Heavenly Father and “[left]
the rest to Him.”
Conclusion
Although my mother has long since passed to her eternal reward, her
words are always with me. I still remember her advice to me given on
that day long ago when my team lost a football game: “Come what may,
and love it.”
I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if
handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love
it.
As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand
the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we
can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, “Come what
may, and love it.” Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
NOTES
1
.
D&C 121:7–8.
2
.
John 3:16.
3
. See
Ether 12:27.
3
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